Julia, I agree with the people who advised you to not make any immediate decision about DA stuff right now. You are in too much turmoil and pain -- it really hurts too to lose our little pet(s) -- and the lack of their quiet, sweet presence leaves such an empty space...
Don't fill the places of your pain with decisions that could impact your life with more confusion or sorrow. You said maybe you still care what those bastards think... But those bastards were people we loved too... So the mind-fook is hard because we also know how JWs are trained to think -- it is such double-talk/double-think.
Be gentle with yourself right now, and it is not a sin to tell people that. Walk gently. Especially when you in pain. When you need to walk strong, you will know. You are healing, and yes, a counsellor who knows about abuse or controlling situations, PTSD, etc, could be of enormous benefit.
I feel your non-JW mom means well, but she does not totally understand the whole interplay of .... all that ... mind-sifting JW stuff.